1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
7. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
8. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
9. In a darkened room, the shin bone automatically turns into a device for finding furniture
10. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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